Heineken

I don't want to be told that we learn from our mistakes, when my mistakes are at the expense of someone, of something, something that has to be mended every day, four years later, clean bandages, an hourly wage.

muslin

the stars in my eyes have jumped ship. i don't believe in anything that i can't understand.

Stars

My feet hurt. Everything is poison lately, every day I find things to sigh about, things to cry over, expired parking tickets, children without mothers skipping on the lake.

My back is bubble wrap, every joint popping like cellophane. Today was draining and I sat cross legged in my car and we talked about you, how mad I was at you. I am so mad lately.

I want to be a regular. I want to sit in the same seat for 30 years in the same town and drink my latte. My wide eyes are starting to narrow. I want to be bleak. 

And the little girl's mother said, "She wants her cup of stars." Indeed yes, Eleanor thought; indeed, so do I; a cup of stars, of course.

"I hated myself for going, why couldn't I be the kind of person who stays?"
I much prefer to run away.

Harlem

He's one of those men who laugh loudly to invite a conversation. Today he laughed at the obituaries and ate a muffin with a fork.

I miss you in oranges. I miss you in straw hats and cornfields, shallow bales and thirsty horses.  I miss you in cardboard boxes, wet with humidity, stacked against drywall. I miss you in white peaches and chubby fingers. I ache like an oak tree.